


No Rock, Paper, Scissors

by yikeslikenikes



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Cuddling, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, Feelings, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hook-Up, M/M, Mentioned Other K-pop Artist(s), Sex, Sharing a Bed, Summer Vacation, Yoo Kihyun-centric, everyone is a huge gay mess, kind of?, side polyamory, tight-knit friend groups
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:08:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23725093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikeslikenikes/pseuds/yikeslikenikes
Summary: “Look, if it happens, we’ll play rock, paper, scissors for the bed,” Kihyun says.“Truly the fairest way to live.”
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Lee Minhyuk, Im Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun, Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Lee Jooheon/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Comments: 8
Kudos: 90





	No Rock, Paper, Scissors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [changkirise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/changkirise/gifts).



> What was supposed to be a simple birthday fic became this monster rip.

“Thanks for letting me ride along,” Changkyun says as he plops down in the passenger seat of the car. 

“It's the least I can do for my junior,” Kihyun says with a grin. Changkyun groans and sinks into the seat. 

“I knew it'd be a mistake to apply to the same school as you.”

“No, it was a mistake to take summer classes instead of fully enjoying your last summer.”

“There's a break now! I'm still enjoying my summer.”

Kihyun hands him the aux cord before putting the car in drive. 

“Well, if you didn't make it out on the trip, who else would we have to baby?”

Changkyun scoffs. “I'm not a baby. Not anymore. I'm a certified university student now.”

Kihyun glances at him for only a moment before focusing back on the road. Changkyun has certainly grown up for the skinny high-schooler he used to be a few years back. Somewhere along the line, he learned to properly get his hair bleached and dyed instead of doing in his bathroom over his sink, and he got this tattoo on his wrist as soon as he could of a smiley face and a frowny face at the same time, and he started actually working out instead of just going on a run once a month and calling it a day. 

“You may not be  _ a  _ baby, but you certainly will always be  _ the  _ baby,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun laughs a bit. “I nominate Hoseok as the new baby. Or Jooheon. They fit it more than I do.”

“Ah, see unfortunately for you, they need someone to baby occasionally. And that's you.”

Changkyun scoffs, but it’s playful. When Kihyun glances at the side mirror before merging, he can see that he's smiling. Kihyun smiles too and turns up the soft hip hop that Changkyun had put on and bops along. 

It's comfortable. Although, Kihyun would assume there's no reason for it not to be. They’ve been friends, the seven of them, probably since Changkyun was born. Their families all lived in the same neighborhood, and their parents were all friends, so they all became friends as well. 

Maybe they all thought of him as the baby because they really all met him at once, when he was still swaddled and sleeping in his mother's arms, and Kihyun had just barely gotten the hang of running around as a toddler, but he still remembered his mom telling him that babies were precious and needed to be treated carefully. Hyunwoo had been the only one allowed to hold him, and only if he was sitting, and only if there was an adult hovering really close by. 

But the lesson had stuck. Changkyun was precious and needed to be treated carefully. 

Imagine their shock when his moody teenage years came, and he was cursing up a storm and during his hair a horrible blonde.

The drive down to the beach house is long, but Kihyun knows it well enough now to be comfortable. The seven of them have been taking this summer trip together since middle school. Technically it had been Hyunwoo’s birthday present the first time, and technically every time after that, but it really was just an excuse. When they got old enough, their parents let them do it on their own, and none of them had ever missed it. Even though they went to different schools now and couldn't see each other as often, they always made sure they were on this trip together. 

They stop at a rest area on the way there, and they get lunch together, Kihyun asking Changkyun about his professors and telling him what he thought about them or heard about them. Changkyun nods and smiles along the whole time as he eats his jajangmyeon. They go to the bathroom and reconvene at the car a little while later, Changkyun sheepishly walking over with a bag. 

“I don't mind you eating snacks in the car, just don't make a mess,” Kihyun says.

“I won't make a mess,” Changkyun replies easily. 

“Sure.”

“I got you candy. M&M’s.”

Kihyun smiles as Changkyun holds out the pack to him.

“Thanks.” He sinks back in his chair and opens the pack, popping a few into his mouth at once. Changkyun laughs a bit and shakes his bag a bit as he stares down into it. 

“Sounds like you got a bunch of stuff,” Kihyun says, reaching for the bag. 

“Hey, wait--”

Kihyun freezes when he catches a glimpse inside the bag. 

“Shit,” Changkyun says as he pulls the bag away and drops it onto the floor between his feet. 

“I mean...I get it, but do you actually need  _ that  _ many condoms? I mean, aren't you still--”

Changkyun shakes his head, face tight, staring straight ahead. 

Kihyun blinks. 

_ Oh.  _

“Oh! You. You aren't a...you've had…?”

Changkyun sputters a bit, an aborted little laugh as he melts against the window next to him.

“Oh, shit, what? When did that happen? Do the other guys know?” Kihyun asks. 

Changkyun groans. “It's not a big deal. All of you guys have had sex.”

“Yeah, but we only lost our virginities once, and I'm pretty sure at least twice that was a development shared in the group chat.”

Changkyun snorts. “Technically three times. Hyungwon and Minhyuk lost it to each other, and Minhyuk decided to tell us with a billion exclamation points.”

Kihyun grins. “Right. I get it though. You're a more private person.”

Changkyun nods. “Yeah.”

Kihyun just stares out the windshield, his brain a mess. 

“Why do you need condoms on this trip, though?” Kihyun asks. 

Changkyun groans. “I don't know! Just in case? You guys have hooked up with people on this trip before. Why can't I?”

“Changkyun, I don't know how much you're planning on doing with so many condoms and exactly no lube.”

“Trust me, I have lube. Can we drop this? I was planning on telling you guys tonight, so I’d only have to tell the story once.”

“Fine, but...was it good at least? Whoever it was?” Kihyun asks. He doesn't ask if whoever it was treated him like he was precious, but he almost wants to. 

Changkyun glances at him sideways, ears still red, and gives him a nod.

“Yeah. It was good,” Changkyun answers softly. 

Kihyun nods. “Well, good! Good. I'm glad. I'll wait until tonight to hear all the sordid little details.”

Changkyun groans and pulls his hood up over his head like it isn't disgustingly hot outside. Kihyun laughs and has a few more M&M's before he puts the bag in the cup holder and starts pulling out of the parking spot. 

It certainly seems like their baby really isn’t a baby anymore after all. 

“It’s...blue?” Changkyun says as they park behind Hyunwoo’s car at his parents’ beach house. Kihyun sighs and leans back, looking up at the house. It looks exactly the same except for the fact that it had been a tan color before. 

“I guess they had it repainted,” Kihyun says. 

“Weird,” Changkyun says before he gets out of the car. 

Kihyun sighs before he grabs the empty candy wrapper and stuffs it in his pocket before turning the car off and getting out. Changkyun is already opening up the trunk and pulling out his things as Kihyun walks around to help him. 

“Finally! I thought you guys would never get here!”

Kihyun looks up to see Jooheon hurrying out the front door towards them. Kihyun lets go of his luggage long enough for Jooheon to take three big steps across the lawn and toss himself happily into his arms. He hugs him back. 

“It didn't take us that long,” Kihyun says. 

“Long enough,” Jooheon says before he moves over to hug Changkyun. Changkyun smiles and closes his eyes and hugs him back, both of them probably already subconsciously communicating how much they love each other. Kihyun rolls his eyes and shuts the trunk before grabbing his suitcase and heading toward the door. 

“Oh, finally, now we can finally pick rooms,” Minhyuk says. 

“Have you been here a week already? Why is everyone acting like we’re late?” Kihyun asks. 

“Because you are,” Hyungwon answers. Kihyun snorts and walks over to them, giving them both hugs. 

“Where’s Hyunwoo and Hoseok?” Kihyun asks. 

“Somewhere making the room ballots,” Hyungwon says.

“You mean they’re cutting sticks into various sizes,” Kihyun says. 

“Exactly that,” Minhyuk says. Kihyun grins and moves his suitcase against the wall where there's already a collection of them starting. 

“Wait, didn't you bring Changkyun? Where is he?” Hyungwon asks. 

Kihyun drops his backpack next to his suitcase and looks over to the still open front door. 

“Outside probably cuddling with Jooheon,” he says. 

“Ah, see, this is why we shouldn't have let Jooheon go out there,” Minhyuk says, walking towards the door. 

Kihyun shakes his head and stretches up, feeling stiff from sitting for so long. 

“How was the drive?” Hyungwon asks. 

“It was fine. Traffic sucked getting out of Seoul, but that was expected,” Kihyun says. 

“At least Changkyun is good company.”

“At least Changkyun is what?” Changkyun yells as he walks into the house. 

Kihyun sighs. It's funny how loud Changkyun can be once he gets comfortable. 

“It has to be cute,” Minhyuk says as he pinches Changkyun’s cheek before walking past him back over to Hyungwon’s side. 

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “Am I that cute?”

“Adorable, actually,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun flashes him a tiny grin before he walks over to put his duffel bag on the ground next to everyone else’s stuff. 

“I actually said good company,” Hyungwon says. 

“I knew I could trust you,” Changkyun says as he walks over and hugs Hyungwon. 

“Of course. That's why I'm the favorite,” Hyungwon says. 

“Oh, please, you are not the favorite, I definitely am,” Jooheon says. 

Changkyun laughs and lets them argue over him for a moment. Kihyun watches them, shaking his head, and he catches Changkyun’s eye for a moment. Changkyun just smiles a bit bigger and looks away. 

“Obviously, you're all my favorite, stop fighting,” Changkyun says. 

“Such a liar,” Minhyuk tuts. 

“Speaking of, where are Hyunwoo and Hoseok?”

“Still cutting up sticks I think,” Kihyun says, pointing back toward the stairs. 

“We’re coming!” Hoseok cries as he hurries down the stairs, already in just his tiny little swim trunks, bare feet padding softly against the wooden steps. 

It really is incredible how someone so big can make such tiny noises when he walks.

“Wow, that took you a while,” Kihyun says. He's the closest, so Hoseok happily runs over to him and hugs him way too tight. 

“Missed you, Ki,” Hoseok says. 

“Missed you too,” Kihyun says. Hoseok quickly lets him go and then pads over to Changkyun to give him his own way too tight hug. 

“Sorry about that, guys. We had a whole debate, but we came up with the perfect solution,” Hyunwoo says as he walks up to them. He pats Kihyun on the shoulder. He was never the one to  _ give _ the hug, but he'd happily receive one. Otherwise it was a nice friendly shoulder pat. 

“What situation?” Jooheon asks. 

“The ‘we all pick out rooms, but Hyungwon and Minhyuk somehow need to be in the same one’ situation,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Ah. Tricky indeed,” Changkyun says. 

“We decided that you two need to pick which person’s room you’re going to go all in on beforehand. That way you can’t just pick the nicest room,” Hoseok says. 

“Seems fair,” Kihyun says. 

“Obviously, they’ll have to switch with whoever ended up getting the other stick for the room, but that should be fine,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Okay, just let us pick the damn sticks,” Minhyuk says. 

“Ah-ah-ah! Pick first,” Hoseok says. 

Minhyuk sighs, and Hyungwon and him look at each other for a second. 

“We’ll stick with whatever Hyungwon picks, then. He's luckier anyway,” Minhyuk says. He reaches an impatient hand out, and Hyunwoo sighs before he walks over and holds out a fist full of seven sticks, all sticking out the same amount out of his hand. 

Minhyuk takes one and quickly hides it behind his back, and then Hyunwoo goes around in a circle, letting everyone pick. There's only two left by the time he gets to Kihyun, so Kihyun just picks randomly and tucks it quickly into his palm. 

He already knows he has the shortest stick, but he doesn't really care. All the rooms were fine to stay in here anyway. 

“Alright, everyone, what did you get,” Hyunwoo asks, holding up the default last stick. All of them hold their hands up, and Kihyun glances at the other smallest stick before looking up. 

“Goddamn it,” Hyungwon groans, as he frowns at his tiny match stick. 

“Just push the beds together,” Hyunwoo says. 

Minhyuk sighs and switches his stick with Kihyun's, and Kihyun scrambles to find his new roommate for the trip. 

“Looks like it’s us downstairs,” Changkyun says, poking his stick with his. 

“But was it the knife, the pan, or the rolling pin?” Hyungwon says. 

“That was lame,” Hoseok says before he laughs and walks back over to grab his stuff and bring it up stairs. 

“Alright, everyone go unpack, and then we’ll meet up out back?” Hyunwoo says. 

“Got it,” Kihyun says as he grabs his things and heads for the basement door. 

The beach house is an expansive thing that Hyunwoo’s parents bought before Hyunwoo was born. They kept it as a vacation home and rented it out to tourists when they weren't using it. 

It had a master bedroom upstairs with a view of the beach and a bed big enough to probably fit all of them if they really tried. It was always the long stick, and three of them slept in there since there was also a pretty nice pull-out mattress tucked under the huge mattress. The other room upstairs was big and comfortable, but it has two single beds, and that was the room that Hyungwon drew. And the last bedroom was in the finished basement. It didn't have a view, but it did have the entirety of the basement (basically an entire living room and bar) to itself, and the door down in the basement was the quickest way to get to the beach. 

Having that room meant sharing a smaller bed with someone, but it was a pretty nice set up, so Kihyun didn't mind. And if he and Changkyun bothered each other that much, one of them could always crash on the couch. 

“Home sweet home,” Changkyun says as he drops his duffel onto the bed, already claiming a side. 

“Is this our first time sharing a room here?” Kihyun asks, thinking back. 

“Hm, I think one of the first times we came here, me, you, and Jooheon shared the master bedroom? But other than that, no. I don't think so,” Changkyun says.

Kihyun snorts as he starts to unpack. “And technically this should be Minhyuk’s room.”

Changkyun laughs a bit. “Damn, you're right.”

Kihyun puts some music on his phone as they both unpack. He tries not to notice when Changkyun pulls his box of condoms out and puts them in the night stand. When he does notice that Changkyun is actually opening up the box to put some somewhere else, he grabs his swim trunks and phone and heads across the hall to the bathroom, mumbling something about getting changed when they've all always just gotten changed in front of each other. 

“What the hell,” Kihyun says to himself after he locks the door. He doesn't know what feels off. He can't quite put his finger on it. 

Maybe he's just still freaked out about Changkyun not being a virgin anymore. The baby. That little kid that laughed too loud and wanted to be L from Death Note. Was an adult having sex now. 

It was weird to think about. Even if he's sure Changkyun felt the same way about all of them having sex before him. I mean, they weren't  _ that  _ far apart in age. Kihyun had been an awkward kid at the same time Changkyun had been. Hair too long and mostly cheeks. 

Kihyun shakes his head and pulls his clothes off and puts his swim trunks on. 

Changkyun can do whatever he wants as long as he’s safe. And with the amount of condoms he bought, Kihyun can assume that he is. They're all grown men anyway. None of them even batted an eye when Hyungwon and Minhyuk started dating earlier this year. So why did he feel weird about Changkyun?

He looks at himself in the mirror and pushes his hair back before he heads out to find Changkyun in his swim trunks, sunglasses up on the top of his head, laying across the couch. Kihyun slaps the bottom of his foot gently. 

Changkyun looks up at him with slightly hooded eyes, and, wow, Kihyun needs to get a grip.  _ When the hell did Changkyun start getting abs? And a defined chest?  _

“You put on sunscreen?” Kihyun asks. 

“I brought that spray stuff. I’ll put it on outside under the deck,” Changkyun says. 

“Okay, I can spray you if you want.”

Kihyun hates that he just said that, and he hates that his mind is screeching with all the meanings that could be taken from that sentence. 

“Yes, please,” Changkyun says as he hops up, not even noticing Kihyun’s internal conflict. Kihyun sighs as he follows Changkyun outside, putting on a pair of flip flops next to the door. 

Hoseok is already running around near the water, giggling so loud they can hear it from there as Changkyun hands Kihyun the bottle of sunscreen. 

Kihyun sprays down Changkyun’s chest and legs and arms before Changkyun turns around, so Kihyun can spray his back. Kihyun is upset to discover that in addition to the abs and chest, Changkyun’s shoulders have gotten even broader. Broader than him. He’s sure this will add a whole new angle to the whole debate between which one of them is bigger. 

“Alright, you’re done,” Kihyun says, handing the bottle back to him. 

“Did you put on sunscreen?” Changkyun asks. 

Kihyun blinks. “Oh, shit, no.”

Changkyun snorts and starts shaking his bottle. “I got you, close your eyes.”

Kihyun sighs and closes his eyes, holding his arms out. He flinches when the cold sunscreen hits his body, but he tries to stay still. 

“I'm going behind you,” Changkyun says. 

Kihyun opens his eyes and flinches again when the spray hits his back. 

“Why does it have to be so cold,” Kihyun groans. 

“No idea,” Changkyun says. And then Kihyun feels his hands rubbing over his shoulders, and Kihyun whirls his head back. 

“Sorry, I need to rub it in, I think,” Changkyun says. He seems casual as he rubs his hands all over Kihyun's shoulders and back. Like he doesn't know that his hands are touching a lot of the right places right now, and Kihyun knows he's probably already cherry red and not because of the sun. 

“Okay, you’re good,” Changkyun says before he lightly slaps Kihyun’s shoulder. Kihyun rolls his eyes and turns towards him. 

“You could have told me I needed to rub it in. I didn't do that,” Kihyun says. 

“Ah, I already did it, it’s fine. Come on, race you to the water,” Changkyun says. 

And then he grins and takes off. 

Kihyun sputters as he starts running after him. 

“That's not fair!” He screams, but Changkyun is just laughing. Kihyun smiles as he tries to run as hard as he can, but Changkyun still beats him to the waves. 

“Cheater,” Kihyun says as he runs close to him and pushes him further in. Changkyun stumbles and laughs as he falls down, sitting in the water. 

Kihyun pants and groans as he stops and stretches his back. 

“God, you're getting old if one quick little sprint has you all fucked up,” Changkyun says. 

“Not old. Just not in shape,” Kihyun says as he kicks some water weakly towards Changkyun. 

“Definitely. I'm older than him, and I wouldn't be this messed up,” Hoseok says as he walks over. He’s been doing laps across the shore and doesn't even look affected. Kihyun weakly kicks some water in his direction too before he plops down to sit next to Changkyun. 

“Fine, I get it. I'll start doing cardio,” Kihyun says. 

Hoseok laughs as he sits down on the wet sand and starts digging his hands and feet into it, pleased as ever. 

Kihyun stares out at the water and sighs, content. The water is cool but not too cold, the sand is soft and brown, the sun is high up in the sky, and Kihyun couldn't be happier to be there. 

“What are you thinking about?” Changkyun asks. He's turned the other way, staring up at the house, so it feels almost like they're almost face to face. 

Kihyun smiles. “That's the beautiful thing, Changkyun. I'm not thinking about anything. Not a damn thing.”

Changkyun laughs and nods, sinking back onto his elbows so the water covers up to his shoulders in the shallow. Kihyun’s eyes glance over him for a moment before he looks back out at the horizon, wondering what these two weeks will have in store for him. 

“Changkyun, you're being awfully quiet over there,” Hyungwon says as he takes another sip from his bottle of soju. 

Kihyun grins. He was wondering when they'd finally get around to this discussion. The seven of them are sitting in the basement around the table, catching up and drinking. 

Changkyun clears his throat and taps his thumb against his bottle. 

“Well, Kihyun already knows, but I do have some news to tell you,” Changkyun says. 

“What news?” Jooheon asks, glancing across the table at Kihyun before looking back to where Changkyun is sitting next to him. 

Changkyun licks his lips and sits up a bit, leaning forward in his chair. 

“Well, I'm not a virgin anymore,” he says. 

Kihyun braces himself exactly two seconds before everyone starts screaming around him. 

“Excuse me?!” Minhyuk yells. 

“Why didn't you tell me?” Jooheon screams. 

“Oh my god, what?” Hyungwon says. 

Hoseok and Hyunwoo start laughing at them, Hoseok falling all over Hyunwoo's lap, and Hyunwoo chuckling so much his shoulders shake. 

“I wanted to tell all of you at once and in person! God, it's not like I killed someone,” Changkyun says. 

“You did, though. You killed your old innocent self,” Minhyuk says. 

Hyunwoo snorts. “I think you two alone probably ruined his innocence a long time ago.”

“That’s fair,” Hyungwon says. 

“Okay, but who? What? When?” Jooheon asks. Kihyun takes a sip of his drink, trying not to be so interested in the answers to all those questions. 

Changkyun hums and leans back in his chair again. 

“Well, it was Jihoon, and it was at his graduation party,” Changkyun says.

“Lee Jihoon? The cute short one your age?” Hyungwon asks. 

Changkyun smiles a bit and nods. “Yeah. The cute short one.”

Kihyun remembers him. He and Changkyun hung out a few times at school and were in similar clubs. If he remembers correctly, they were always competing for first and second in the class, and Jihoon had just barely beat him for first when they graduated. Kihyun couldn't make it out to their graduation because he was busy with work and school at the time. 

Jihoon certainly had been cute. Not what he had expected Changkyun’s type to be, but sure. Cute. 

“Really?” Minhyuk asks. 

“Was it good?” Hoseok asks.

“Did you use protection?” Hyunwoo asks. 

Minhyuk snorts. “Of course, that’s what you ask.”

“Well, it's important! I hope that if nothing else, Changkyun has learned to at least be safe,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Yes, we used protection, and yes, it was good,” Changkyun says. 

“Wait, so did you guys date?” Jooheon asks. 

Changkyun shakes his head. “Nah. We hooked up a few times, but neither of us were really feeling it. Besides, Jihoon is studying abroad, and I sure as hell wouldn't want to deal with that even if I had been interested,” Changkyun says. 

“Well, I'm happy for you. It's nice to have a good first time,” Minhyuk says. 

“Is he the only person you've been with?” Kihyun asks. Changkyun looks at him and bites his lip before he shakes his head. The room gets loud again as everyone asks for more details. Kihyun smiles even though it feels empty and looks away as he drinks more. 

“I've had sex with two other guys,” Changkyun says. 

“Oh my god, since graduation? It's only been like a month!” Jooheon says. 

“So? Let him live his best life, Jooheon,” Hyungwon says. 

“It's not that! It's just...so you didn't date any of them? Because I feel like I'd be more upset if you had a whole boyfriend and didn't tell us,” Jooheon says. 

Kihyun feels his gut clench like he’s about to jump off a high dive. 

“Oh, no. No boyfriends. Just two friends I happened to have sex with, and a one-night stand,” Changkyun says. 

“Jihoon being one of the former?” Hoseok asks. 

“Yeah. And then I hooked up with one of the guys in my orientation group a few times, but then we stopped that. And then I had hooked up with a guy from the honor club, but I probably won't be doing that ever again,” Changkyun says. 

“Why? Do we have to kill someone?” Minhyuk asks. 

“No. He was fine, but we just didn't know each other at all, and it was awkward after, and I'd rather not feel that awkward ever again,” Changkyun says. 

“Okay, but tell us about these guys,” Hoseok says. 

“Yeah, we know what Jihoon is like, but what about the other two?” Minhyuk asks. 

Kihyun thinks there isn't enough liquor in the world to drown out how much he's starting to hate this conversation. 

“Well, Youngjae is just a really sweet guy. And he was cute, and we got along. We fucked a few times, but I think Youngjae was still hung up on some guy he had a crush on for forever,” Changkyun says. 

“Ah. That sucks,” Jooheon says. 

“Yeah, but I don't think it would have worked out anyway. He's a great friend, but I don't think us dating would have worked,” Changkyun asks. 

“Why not?” Minhyuk asks. 

Changkyun shrugs. “Just a gut feeling.”

“And the other guy? The hook up?” Hoseok asks. 

“His name is Mark Tuan. He's from LA. I haven't seen him since we hooked up,” Changkyun says. 

Kihyun’s gut flops. “Wait, you hooked up with Mark?”

All eyes are suddenly on him. 

“Yeah. What?” Changkyun asks. 

“Wait, did you two hook up with the same guy?” Minhyuk asks. 

“No! Holy shit, no. He was just my partner in biology lab. You hooked up with Mark Tuan?” Kihyun asks. 

Changkyun tilts his head. “Yeah? What about him?”

“Yeah! Tell us about him!” Hyungwon says. 

Kihyun frowns. Mark Tuan was, even though Kihyun hates to admit it, even just to himself, fairly attractive. He had been funny and charming, and they had gotten along fine in biology lab. 

It was just strange to think about him and Changkyun together. Hooking up. Even just kissing. It makes Kihyun feel strange.

“He was nice in lab,” Kihyun settles with. 

“Was he nice to you?” Hyunwoo asks Changkyun. 

Changkyun nods. “I mean, yeah. Granted we didn't talk very much.”

Kihyun downs whatever is left of his soju bottle as everyone starts to laugh. 

“Does that mean we need to buy you condoms for this trip?” Hoseok asks. 

“Nah, I got myself plenty,” Changkyun says with a grin.

“Hey, I think I'm heading to bed. The driving and the beach. You know how it is,” Kihyun says as he gets up. 

“Oh shit, it is late,” Hyunwoo says as he glances at his watch. 

“You guys can stay up. I brought ear plugs if need be,” Kihyun says. He drops his bottle in the recycling bin before making a show of yawning and heading to the bathroom. He brushes his teeth and tries not to listen to Minhyuk and Hyungwon loudly ask for more details from Changkyun about his sex life. 

He tries to ignore them through his entire bedtime routine and his short walk across the hall to the bedroom, and he gets in bed and sighs. At least it’s quieter in the bedroom. He grabs his earplugs and pops them in before plugging his phone in and settling into bed. 

Half an hour passes before Changkyun comes into the room, and Kihyun glances over his phone at him. 

He sees Changkyun’s mouth move, and he frowns and takes an earplug out. 

“What?” He says. 

“I thought you’d be asleep by now,” Changkyun says. He walks over and stretches before getting into bed next to him. 

“Me too,” Kihyun says. 

There's a pause as Kihyun scrolls on his phone where he can feel Changkyun staring at him. He turns to look at him, and Changkyun keeps staring. 

“Can I help you?” Kihyun asks. 

Chany licks his lips. “You really didn't hook up with Mark?”

Kihyun snorts and looks back at his phone. “Definitely not.”

“And you're not mad at me for hooking up with him?” Changkyun asks. 

“What? No, of course not. You can fuck whoever you want,” Kihyun says. He keeps scrolling, not seeing anything on his phone. 

“Okay. Good. I just didn't want things to be awkward between us because of a one-night stand.”

Kihyun smiles and looks at him. “It isn't. I think I'm just grumpy from all the driving and stuff.”

“Ah, yeah. I get that.”

“But I really don't care that you and Mark fucked. Unless he did something that warrants me caring?” Kihyun asks, raising a brow. 

“Nah. He was nice,” Changkyun says. He thinks for a second. “His dick was nice,” he corrects. 

Kihyun snorts. “Oh, god.”

Changkyun giggles. “It was! Not the nicest one, but definitely quality.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“Jihoon. Definitely still Jihoon,” Changkyun says. 

Kihyun nods. “Huh. Unexpected.”

“I guess.” Changkyun shrugs. “But who knows. The world is my oyster now. Maybe I'll find better dick here, right?”

Kihyun swallows down whatever he feels about that. 

“Yeah. Maybe. Just be safe, alright? And don't fuck in the bed I'm sleeping in,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun grins. “Deal.”

Kihyun laughs a bit and shakes his head as he locks his phone and puts it away. He turns over and turns his bedside lamp off, sending the room into darkness. He puts his ear plug back in as he feels Changkyun moving around next to him, trying to get comfortable. 

He closes his eyes and burrows under the covers. 

“Goodnight, Changkyun,” he says. 

He hears a mumble that has to be Changkyun saying good night back and then nothing. 

He thinks back on the day and wonders when the hell he got so protective of Changkyun as he slowly falls asleep. 

“We’ll go to the club tomorrow, but tonight how about we have a bonfire?” Hyunwoo says. 

“Sounds good to me,” Kihyun says as he shovels the last bites of his cereal into his mouth. 

“I would have a bonfire every night, honestly,” Jooheon says. 

“Don’t be silly, you love going dancing,” Minhyuk says. 

Kihyun grins as Jooheon makes a face at Minhyuk like he can't believe what he just said, and Minhyuk doubles down on it. 

“You do!”

“I can dance here, though!”

“How are you going to find hot guys to grind on here?” Minhyuk asks. 

Kihyun gets up and goes to drop his bowl in the sink where Hoseok has volunteered to do the dishes. 

“I think some of us are plenty hot,” Hoseok adds. 

“I mean, yeah, but that's not what I meant,” Minhyuk says. 

“Why do I have to grind on guys?” Jooheon asks. 

“I mean you don't  _ have  _ to, but I'm saying there are more possibilities of that happening at the club,” Minhyuk says. 

Kihyun shakes his head. “Bonfire sounds fun. Do we need to make a liquor run?”

“Hm, maybe. We didn't have that many soju bottles,” Hyunwoo says. 

“I'll go then,” Kihyun says. He walks over to the little bowl they all throw their keys in and fishes his out. 

“If you're going, ask Changkyun to go with you. I think he was talking about needing to pick up something from the store,” Jooheon says. 

Kihyun nods and shoves his keys into his pocket as he heads downstairs where Changkyun is laying on the couch, flicking through the channels on the television. 

“Hey,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun glances up at him and grins. “What's up?”

“Going to the store to buy soju. Wanna come with?” Kihyun asks. 

“Oh, yeah. Give me a second,” Changkyun says. He gets up and turns the TV off before heading back towards their room. 

“Can you grab my wallet for me?” Kihyun calls, halfway up the stairs already. 

“Got it,” Changkyun calls back. 

A few seconds later they’re both out the door and getting in the car. Changkyun is humming and tapping a beat out on his thigh, and Kihyun bops his head along to it. 

“Can I play music again?” Changkyun asks. 

“Yeah, go ahead,” Kihyun says as he starts the car. 

It doesn't take long for them to be driving down the road, a song blasting out of Kihyun's mediocre speakers, but it feels like summer. The windows are down, and the breeze is nice, and Kihyun drives slower than he usually does to enjoy it. Changkyun doesn't complain. He leans back in the passenger seat and mumbles along to the lyrics, sunglasses over his eyes, and hands drumming against his thighs. 

Kihyun squints against the sun as they pull into the convenience store parking lot, and waits until the song ends to turn the car off. 

Inside the convenience store, they separate, Kihyun grabbing a basket to fill to the brim with soju bottles, hopefully enough to last for a few days at least. He grabs a few snacks and puts them between the bottlenecks before he goes searching for Changkyun. He finds him in the small pharmacy aisle, looking at the sunglasses. 

“Don't you already have some?” Kihyun asks, tapping at the frames of the sunglasses he has pushed up on his head. 

Changkyun gives him a sideways glance. “They’re not for me.”

“Oh? Who are they for then?”

Changkyun grabs a pair that looks like his and turns to him. Kihyun freezes as Changkyun carefully slides them on Kihyun's face. 

“You were squinting a bunch yesterday,” Changkyun says. He looks Kihyun over carefully, and Kihyun just clears his throat, trying to get his heart rate back down. 

“So?” he asks, mouth dry. 

“So, I'll buy these for you,” Changkyun says. He pokes Kihyun's nose and smiles before he pulls the glasses off of him and heads for the counter. Kihyun stares at him go, wondering if he really came to the convenience store just to buy him a shitty pair of sunglasses, but he sees Changkyun put something else on the counter to buy. 

He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding before he heads over there to pay for the alcohol. Changkyun waits behind him, looking over the candy on the counter. While the cashier rings up the last few bottles, Kihyun points at the candy. 

“What do you want?” he asks. 

Changkyun blinks at him and grins. “The M&M’s.”

Kihyun grabs a bag and drops it on the counter. The cashier barely even notices as he picks it up and scans it before sliding it back across the counter. Changkyun grabs it and immediately opens it up. 

“Didn't you just have breakfast?”

“Any time is the best time for chocolate,” Changkyun answers before he pops a handful into his mouth. Kihyun shakes his head and smiles as he swipes his card to pay. 

Changkyun hands him his new sunglasses before he grabs all the bags and heads out of the store, yelling his thanks to the cashier as he goes. Kihyun watches him for a second before putting his sunglasses on and heading after him, saying thank you as he leaves. 

“Hurry up and open the trunk, this is heavy,” Changkyun calls. Kihyun rolls his eyes as he walks over.

“I could have helped you,” Kihyun says. 

“Whatever, just open the trunk.”

Kihyun unlocks the trunk and opens it, and Changkyun hurriedly puts the bags in. 

“Damn,” Kihyun says as he grabs Changkyun's hand and pulls it out to look at his arms. There's already red marks all up and down them from where the bags were weighing down on him. 

“It’ll fade in a second. Let's head back,” Changkyun says. He doesn't pull his arm away though. He doesn't really move at all. Kihyun rubs his thumb over one of the marks and frowns. 

“You should have waited,” Kihyun says. Changkyun snorts, and Kihyun looks up at him. “What?”

“What are you going to do? Kiss it better?” Changkyun asks. And then he holds his arm up near Kihyun’s mouth with that shit-eating grin on his face. Kihyun feels his blood still somewhere in his body. 

“Aw, come on, you used to do it when we were little,” Changkyun says, and he's joking, but it feels like he's not. 

Kihyun sputters. Scoffs. “Yeah, when you were literally a baby,” he says lamely. 

Changkyun raises a brow at him. Like it's a challenge. 

Kihyun has never been good at turning down challenges. 

“Ugh, fine, you big baby,” Kihyun says, and he wishes it came out more annoyed than it sounded. He leans closer and pecks his lips against one of the red marks before stepping away and slamming the trunk shut. He hurries away, around the car to the door, and he wonders again what the hell is wrong with him. 

Changkyun was right. He had kissed his scrapes and bumps and bruises at least a hundred times when they were little. Most of the time he did it because he knew Changkyun would stop crying if he did, and all of them hated it when Changkyun cried. It always worked. If Changkyun was sniffling over a bruised elbow or knee, a quick kiss to make it better would always get him quiet again. 

Kihyun can't even remember the last time he did it, though. It must have been ages ago when Changkyun started taking bumps and scrapes with a frown and a groan instead of tears and a pout. 

“They look good on you.”

Kihyun blinks and looks over at Changkyun. 

“What?”

“The sunglasses. They look good on you,” Changkyun says. 

“Oh. Thanks.”

“Except you forgot to take the sticker off.”

“Where is it?” Kihyun pulls down the sun visor, glancing at himself in the mirror. 

“Here, just let me.”

What Kihyun expects as he looks over at Changkyun is for Changkyun to take the sunglasses off his face and pick at the sticker the whole ride home. That's what he normally would have done, Kihyun thinks. 

What Changkyun actually does is touch Kihyun’s face to keep him still as he tries to get his nail under the sticker to pull it off in one quick motion. Kihyun stares at Changkyun as he sticks the tip of his tongue out of the side of his mouth. He squints, fully concentrated as he keeps  _ scratch scratch scratch _ -ing at the frames of Kihyun's sunglasses. 

It’s cute, if Kihyun is being honest. But honesty isn't really necessary right then, so he keeps his mouth shut. 

“There,” Changkyun says, smiling and proud as he rolls up the sticker between his fingers. 

Kihyun huffs and turns back to the front, slamming the sun visor back up. 

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Ah, but you love me,” Changkyun says before he starts staring out the window. 

Kihyun doesn't respond. 

He puts the car in reverse and pulls out. 

“So you’re saying you haven't done  _ anything _ with  _ anyone  _ since you and Gunhee broke up?” Hyungwon asks, legs sprawled out over Minhyuk’s lap as they sit in the only two-seater out on the deck. Minhyuk seems all too happy about this, one hand rubbing circles into Hyugwon’s ankle, the other one holding a beer he’s been nursing since Hyunwoo fired up the grill. 

Jooheon pouts a bit, thumbing at the tab on his soda can because he only likes drinking once the sun’s gone down. “I mean. I’ve made out with a few people, but nothing further than that, no.”

“That's cute,” Kihyun says. He readjusts, trying to reposition the cushion on his chair, and sighing when it doesn't work. 

Jooheon snorts. “Look, it's not like I don't like it, it's just that if I don't have feelings for them, there's no point for me.”

“Even cuter,” Minhyuk says. 

“You say that like you've fucked anyone other than me,” Hyungwon says.

“He has a point there, Minhyuk,” Hoseok says. He's hovering behind Hyunwoo on the grill, probably hoping to be given any spare first bites that Hyunwoo is willing to give out. 

“Look, just because I've never actually had casual sex doesn't mean I can't appreciate it. Take Kihyun for example. How many boyfriends have you had?” Minhyuk asks. 

Kihyun sips at his soju. This one is yuzu flavored and a bit sour. It makes it even easier to sip at. 

“Zero,” Kihyun says, holding up an “o” with his hand to emphasize the point. 

“And how many people have you had sex with?” Minhyuk asks.

Kihyun chuckles a bit, looking down. “Plenty.”

“He says that because he stopped counting,” Hyungwon says. 

“I'm well-aware of Kihyun's sexual history, thanks,” Jooheon says. 

“I think we all are,” Changkyun adds. He's leaning back against the wall behind Jooheon's chair, sunglasses covering half his face, beer can covering the other. 

“I think we all are a bit too aware of all of our sexual histories, actually,” Hyunwoo says. Kihyun glances over to see him start plating up the beef brisket, and his mouth waters. 

“Isn't that what friends are for? To be up in each other’s business?” Minhyuk asks. 

“It certainly is if they’re friends with you,” Kihyun says. 

“Changkyun, can you go bring the rice from inside?” Hoseok asks as he sneakily grabs some brisket and pops it into his mouth. Hyunwoo doesn't even try to wave him away. He just grins to himself. 

“Yep!” Changkyun says. He slips inside, and, a few minutes later, everyone is crowded around the table, stuffing their mouths with rice and kimchi and beef brisket. 

“Damn, I wish we had ramen,” Hoseok says. 

“Let me finish eating, and I'll go make some,” Kihyun says. 

“Yessss,” Jooheon says before he stuffs his mouth again. 

“Is it good?” Hyunwoo asks him. 

“It's amazing, holy shit,” Changkyun answers for him. 

Hyunwoo beams. “Good, I'm glad.” 

Kihyun helps himself to two more servings of food before getting up and going back into the kitchen. He grabs about six packs of ramen and starts filling up one of the bigger pots. 

“Need any help?” 

Kihyun looks back to see Hyunwoo walking into the kitchen, throwing a few plates into the sink. 

“No, I think I'm good. Just waiting for the water to boil,” Kihyun says. He goes into the fridge and finds some garlic and green onions, and he gets to work cutting up enough to add to their ramen. He hears Hyunwoo turn on the sink, and then outside, a speaker comes to life, and a song Kihyun doesn't recognize starts playing. It's muffled through the closed door, but loud enough that Kihyun can hear the beat and parts of the melody. 

“Hey, Ki,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Yeah?” Kihyun asks. 

Hyunwoo doesn't turn to look at him like Kihyun does. His shoulders are squared up over the sink, scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing. 

“You...you know about me and Hoseok, right?” Hyunwoo asks. 

Kihyun blinks. 

“Why do you mean? That you guys hook up or…”

“It’s...it’s more than just hooking up,” Hyunwoo says softly. He’s still scrubbing the same plate. 

Kihyun raises a brow. “No, I didn't know that, but that's fine. Why didn't you guys tell us? Me and Changkyun wouldn't have minded giving you the bed downstairs and sleeping with Jooheon upstairs.”

Hyunwoo sighs and finally puts the plate to dry. He turns the water off and turns to look back at Kihyun. His face is serious, forehead scrunched, and Kihyun instantly gets concerned. 

“Hey, what is it? Is something wrong?” Kihyun asks. 

Hyunwoo licks his lips. “We want to be in the room with Jooheon.”

Kihyun frowns. “Isn't that just getting in the way of...oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

“I mean. Jooheon... he doesn't seem like the type to have a--”

“We don't want to hook up with him. We want to date him,” Hyunwoo says. 

Kihyun blinks. “You’re…I mean I definitely see Hoseok being poly. He just...has a lot of love, but I never imagined…”

They stare at each other. Then they both laugh a bit. 

“Hoseok certainly does have a lot of love,” Hyunwoo says quietly. And Kihyun sees it then. It's disgustingly obvious now that he's thinking about it. 

“How long have you two been a thing?” Kihyun asks. 

“Me and Hoseok? Since...well, it's been a few years now.”

“And you never felt the need to tell us?”

“We did! Of course we did. But...it's complicated.”

“Is it?”

“Look, if we told everyone we were together, there’s no way Jooheon would have ever even looked at us. And we just...wanted to have a chance.”

Kihyun nods. “I get it.”

The water behind him starts boiling, and Kihyun springs to action, adding everything into the water and starting a timer. 

“You do?” Hyunwoo asks. 

Kihyun glances back at him. “I get why you guys did it. Don't get why you're telling me, though.”

Hyunwoo snorts. “Because we figured we should tell  _ someone _ before we made a move in case it doesn't go well, and we thought you'd be the chillest about it. And Hoseok was too scared to tell you himself, so I was the one that had to do it.”

“Makes sense. Minhyuk and Hyungwon would have been nosy and freaked out. Changkyun probably would have told Jooheon.”

“And you’ll be cool about it?” Hyunwoo asks. 

The timer goes off, and Kihyun turns the stove off. 

“Yeah, can you carry this outside?”

Hyunwoo nods and grabs the pot. 

“Thanks, Ki,” he says. 

“No problem. Let me get the door.”

By the time they’re all digging into the ramen, all of them dipping into the same pot, it’s perfectly cooked and Kihyun couldn't be more pleased with all the compliments he’s getting from them.

He glances at how Jooheon and Hyunwoo are joking with each other and hopes for the best. 

The bonfire is crackling under the sounds of some Post Malone song, and Kihyun smiles as he leans back on his palm and sips at his drink. Changkyun and Jooheon are passionately singing along to the song in each other’s faces while Hyungwon and Minhyuk are doing a little dance together, stumbling and holding on to each other and giggling. Hyunwoo and Hoseok are sitting on the sand, and when Kihyun looks over at them, he can see Hyunwoo’s hand on top of Hoseok’s, and it really always was disgustingly obvious now that Kihyun is thinking about it. 

The fire makes everything smooth around the edges, softens all of them into something warm. 

“I want to dance,” Jooheon says, pushing himself up and tugging on Changkyun’s arm. 

“Go dance with them, I just want to sit right now,” Changkyun replies. 

Jooheon pouts, but it doesn't last very long since Hoseok is already up and grabbing at his hand. 

“I’ll dance with you!” 

Kihyun watches as everyone gets up except for him and Changkyun to go dance.

Kihyun sighs. The song changes. He pretends not to notice when Changkyun moves closer. 

“Don't feel like dancing?” Changkyun asks. 

“Hm, not now,” Kihyun answers. 

He glances sideways at Changkyun, and Changkyun is smiling a bit as he looks around at their friends.

The fire is crackling, the moon is shining down on them, and Kihyun’s heartbeat is already starting to tick up from how Changkyun’s shoulder is touching his. 

“Are you drinking a lot tonight?” Changkyun asks. 

Kihyun shakes his head. “I'm limiting myself to one bottle tonight.”

“Same. It’s too good a night to not remember it,” Changkyun says. 

Kihyun nods. The moon is full, the waves are gentle in the distance, and the breeze isn't too cold. It is a pretty perfect night. 

“Are we going to the club tomorrow?” Changkyun asks. 

“I think that was the plan.”

“Then I'll drink my liver out tomorrow.”

Kihyun snorts and nudges him with his elbow. Changkyun grins at him and nudges him back. 

“I don't want to have to drag you back home,” Kihyun says. 

“It'll be my first time at the club since you guys would always ditched me to go when I was too young. I think I should be afforded at least one courtesy carry.”

“Hm, maybe you should ask Hoseok for that.”

Changkyun laughs and nods. “Oh, you’re right. He wouldn't drop me like you would.”

“I would...try very hard not to drop you,” Kihyun says. 

Snorting, Changkyun sips at his drink again before burying his toes in the sand. When Changkyun leans his head against Kihyun's shoulder, everything feels like it freezes. 

“At least you probably have the best shoulder to pass out on,” Changkyun says. 

“You think so?” 

“Know so. Remember last year when we fell asleep in the back of Hyunwoo's car?” 

Kihyun does. He had been so exhausted, and he was grateful for Hoseok volunteering to be Hyunwoo’s co-pilot, so he could fall asleep in the backseat of the car with Changkyun. He had woken up hours later with Changkyun’s head slumped onto his chest. 

“I do,” Kihyun says. 

“Well, it was comfortable,” Changkyun says with a shrug. He keeps laying his head against him, and Kihyun tries to be still, so he doesn't stop. 

A bottle later and the both of them are finally dancing with their friends. It isn't together. They just hover close to each other while facing towards anyone but the other. 

When Minhyuk grabs Kihyun's hands and pulls him towards the shore, Kihyun laughs and runs along with him. The water is cold, and they both scream, but it turns into laughing a moment later as they both fall into the shallows. 

“Is this what we’re doing now?” Hyungwon yells after them. 

Kihyun shivers as he sits up and looks back at them on the shore. 

“It feels good! Come here!” Minhyuk yells back. 

“Oh, hell no,” Hyungwon says. 

“Don’t be such a baby,” Changkyun says as he grabs Hyungwon. 

“Oh, fuck, no, wait--”

Hyungwon screams as Changkyun tugs him into the water, and Changkyun can’t stop laughing. Kihyun wishes he could stop staring up at Changkyun. 

“The water is definitely not fine, Lee Minhyuk,” Hyungwon says as he kicks water weakly in their direction. Minhyuk just smiles as he grabs Hyungwon’s hands and tugs him down, making him yell again. Changkyun beams as he squats down into the water in front of Kihyun. 

“You are so loud,” Changkyun says as he splashes water over at Minhyuk and Hyungwon. 

“You pulled me into freezing water, and I’m supposed to be silent?” Hyungwon splashes Changkyun back, and Kihyun huffs when some of the water hits him. 

“It’s fine once you get used to it,” Minhyuk says. He rubs his hands up and down Hyungwon’s arms for warmth though. 

“You’re all idiots because you all already showered,” Jooheon calls. He’s standing carefully over at the edge of the water, just out of reach of the tide. 

“Ah, shit, I forgot,” Minhyuk says. 

“It’s not like we can’t shower again,” Changkyun says. He splashes all of them again before hurrying out of the water towards Jooheon. 

“Oh no, you don’t,” Jooheon says as he starts barreling backwards away from Changkyun. 

“Come here, you can just shower again too,” Changkyun says. 

“Where did the kid get so much energy from?” Minhyuk muses. 

Kihyun lets the waves come up around him as they all watch Changkyun chase Jooheon around the beach. 

“I don't know, but I wish I had some,” Kihyun says. 

And he does. The ocean pulls and pushes around him, and the alcohol makes him drowsy. He wishes he had energy. More of it. He watches Changkyun grab Jooheon and both of them fall down onto the ground and laugh. 

It’s funny, but he doesn't know what exactly he would do with it. 

“Just go to bed already. You look tired,” Hyungwon says.

Kihyun sighs and nods. “I am.” 

But Kihyun doesn't move. The ocean waves move around him. His eyes stay on the way the moonlight bleaches out the sand, bleaches out the shells, bleaches out the bare skin of Changkyun's arms. 

He catches himself staring and decides that's about enough for tonight. He barely says goodnight as he hurries out of the water, past the fire, and back inside. 

He doesn't think he's ever taken a colder shower in his life. 

“I thought you’d be asleep.”

Kihyun glances up from his phone screen and looks up at Changkyun standing at the door. His hair is still wet from his shower, and he’s only wearing boxers, and Kihyun thinks that maybe he’ll never know peace again. 

“I thought I would be too,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun snorts and closes the door behind him. He crawls into bed next to Kihyun and sighs before turning toward him. 

“So what’s the plan exactly?” Changkyun asks. 

Kihyun keeps his eyes on his phone, only glancing at Changkyun sideways. He’s like an eclipse now to Kihyun. Amazing to look at but dangerous if gazed upon directly. 

“The plan for what?”

Changkyun nudges him. “You know. What are we going to do if we both find guys we want to hook up with tomorrow? Like...does one of us take the couch or…?”

Kihyun’s stomach sinks, but he makes himself chuckle. It comes out a bit like a cough. 

“Shit, Changkyun, you’re already thinking about finding a guy to hook up with? What if we go tomorrow, and it’s ladies night or something?”

Changkyun laughs a bit. “I mean, you have a point. What if none of those guys are good enough for us?”

_ They aren’t _ .  _ There’s no way any of them are good enough for you. _

“Look, if it happens, we’ll play rock, paper, scissors for the bed,” Kihyun says. 

“Truly the fairest way to live.”

Kihyun laughs and risks it. He turns his head toward Changkyun, and he stops breathing when he realizes how close Changkyun is to him. So close. Too close already. 

The morning before, Kihyun had woken up with Changkyun koalaed against his back, and that had been way too close, but at least when they had passed out they were keeping their distance. Now Changkyun was already an outstretched arm away from cuddling him again. 

“You know, maybe it was because you used to have a teddy bear, but I didn’t know you were such a cuddler in your sleep,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun shrugs and pouts. “I can’t help it. I get cold easily, and you’re warm.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Except your feet. Those get cold as hell,” Changkyun says with a giggle. He presses his feet against Kihyun’s to emphasize his point. 

Kihyun manages a more natural laugh this time.

“If they’re so cold why were you trying to play footsie with me? Why are you trying right now?”

Changkyun shrugs again. “Just let me cuddle you in peace. It’s not like it’s never happened before.”

Kihyun sighs and stares at him. They stare at each other for a very tense moment, at least in Kihyun’s head, before he sighs again and looks back at his phone. He holds his arm out and in the corner of his eye he can see Changkyun smile before he scooches closer, laying his head against his shoulder. Kihyun wraps his arm around Changkyun and keeps scrolling through Instagram. 

“See? This is way better than awkwardly trying to divide up the bed in half,” Chankgyun says. 

“Hm.” 

Kihyun knows it shouldn’t be weird. All the times they’ve fallen asleep in the back of some car together. All the times they cuddled up on an air mattress in someone’s house or a couch or even just slept close in separate sleeping bags while camping. It shouldn’t be strange or out of the ordinary or different. 

But there he is, praying silently that Changkyun can’t somehow hear how hard his heart is beating because they’re doing something they’ve done hundreds of times before. 

“You must really like this photo,” Changkyun says.

Kihyun blinks and realizes they’ve been staring at the same oversaturated picture of a beach for the past few seconds because his brain had stopped working properly as soon as he put his arm around him. 

“No, I’m just trying to figure out why they put this filter over a perfectly nice beach,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun hums and nuzzles his head against him a bit like he’s trying to get more comfortable. 

“Because people can’t believe that what they have right in front of them is good enough,” Changkyun says.

“Oh. Am I talking to a future philosophy major?” 

Changkyun snorts and shoves at Kihyun’s side. “No. I don’t know. I like a lot of things but learning about a bunch of white men thinking about thinking isn’t really what I want to do with my college career.”

“Point taken,” Kihyun says. 

Kihyun starts scrolling again. He doesn’t think about the time. He just tries to be still and quiet as he thinks Changkyun is falling asleep. It’s quiet, and the thundering of his heart has calmed, and things feel normal. Like they used to. 

Except Kihyun still has butterflies in his stomach that flutter every time Changkyun’s hair tickles at his collarbone. 

“What if we didn’t bring any guys home?” Changkyun asks softly. 

Kihyun glances down at him. Changkyun hasn’t moved, so he hums. 

“I mean, we can’t all get lucky,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun snorts and looks up at him. He bites his lip and suddenly that’s all Kihyun can focus on. 

“No, I still plan on getting lucky. I just mean like...what if we didn’t bring anyone else home?”

Kihyun blinks. “What?”

Changkyun sighs and shakes him a bit. “You know what.”

This can’t be happening. He has to be interpreting this wrong. 

“No, Changkyun, I really don’t.”

Changkyun groans and turns a bit, hovering over Kihyun. 

“We wouldn’t have to play rock, paper, scissors for the bed. We wouldn’t have to worry about sleeping on the couch. We could still get what we want. I mean, shit, I have all the condoms and lube already. You know that.”

Kihyun blinks once. Twice. “You’re...you’re saying…”

“That we hook up. Come on, it’d be easier this way. We can still sleep in bed after.”

“Oh, that’s great for the ego. Offering to sleep with me out of convenience,” Kihyun says. He smiles because it feels like a joke. It has to be a joke. There’s no way that Changkyun is actually saying this.

“The convenience is just an extra bonus. Look, I just...I think it’d be good. I mean none of the guys you ever hooked up with have complained. Not the ones I’ve met at least. And I can assure you that I’ve never had any complaints.”

“Changkyun…”

“Everyone else in this house is doing it! I mean, yeah, Hyungwon and Minhyuk are dating, but Hyunwoo and Hoseok? Come on, you can’t tell me they hook up all the time just out of convenience.”

Kihyun holds back the laugh at that particular example. 

“So what is this? Everyone is hooking up without us, so why not just join them?” Kihyun asks. 

“I mean, if you really don’t want to, then fine, but…”

“But?”

Changkyun licks his lips. “I don’t know. I thought you would want to.”

Kihyun blinks. “You’re serious about this?”

“Look, all I’m saying is, we can hook up. We’ve been friends forever, and that won’t change just because we fucked a few times on vacation. No feelings or anything weird. Just...the two of us. Having fun like we always have and...in ways we never have before too.”

“No feelings?” Kihyun asks. 

Changkyun shrugs. “Yeah. We just. Hang out. Fuck when we want to. And when we leave, we never have to talk about it again. It’ll be fun.”

“And...what, Changkyun? Afterwards everything just goes back to normal?”

“Why not? Look, I know that you care about me. I care about you too. And I don’t know why you’re acting all weird about hooking up. I mean, how many hook ups have you had again?”

Kihyun frowns. His arm is still around Changkyun and suddenly this all feels way too intimate. Discussing hooking up while cuddling in bed. Like it isn’t them that would be doing it. 

But then Kihyun squeezes him. Feels how warm and soft his skin feels under his palm. Touches him. 

He wants more of that. So much more. 

And suddenly the intimacy doesn’t feel like too much at all. 

“Just the two of us?” Kihyun asks softly. 

Changkyun nods, leaning closer. “No one even has to know. No feelings. No strings. Just two best friends...with some benefits.”

Kihyun hums. “What about all your plans for the club?”

Changkyun laughs a bit. “I think these plans are better.”

Kihyun isn’t expecting it when Changkyun kisses him. 

But it only takes a moment of disbelief before Kihyun is kissing him back. 

Changkyun’s lips are even softer than the skin under Kihyun’s palm, and he can’t believe how good it feels. How right it feels. Changkyun opens his mouth against him and kisses him like he wants him. Like he’s been waiting to do this for years. Kihyun moans and kisses him back just as fervently until he moves again and his phone slides off his chest and clangs onto the floor. 

Changkyun pulls away and then he laughs a bit. 

“Maybe not tonight. But, tomorrow? No rock, paper, scissors?” Changkyun asks, and he’s breathless. Still so close that Kihyun can feel his breath against his wet upper lip. 

“Yeah. No rock, paper, scissors,” Kihyun whispers. 

Changkyun smiles before he rolls off of him. 

“Remember to charge your phone, Ki.”

“Right.”

“Goodnight, Ki.”

“Night.”

After a few moments of staring blankly up at the dark ceiling, Kihyun finally realizes that he should actually pick up his phone. He gets out of bed and grabs the phone before plugging it back in. By the time he’s back in bed, Changkyun is snoring softly, and he still can’t believe any of this is real. 

“God, I hope the music doesn’t suck. When is the car getting here?” Minhyuk asks.

“It’s four minutes away,” Hyunwoo answers without looking up from his phone. 

“The music wasn’t bad last time,” Hyungwon says. 

“No, but it got old. I can only take so long of the same EDM beat before I lose my mind,” Minhyuk says. 

“Oh, you still have that?” Kihyun asks. 

Minhyuk throws one of the throw pillows on the couch at Kihyun, and Kihyun laughs as he swats it away. 

“No fighting before we go to the club. Especially today,” Hoseok says. 

“Today?” Hyungwon asks.

“It’s Changkyun’s first time! So it’s not like all the other times,” Hoseok says. 

Kihyun glances over to where Changkyun is sprawled out on the couch in his tight leather pants and a red silk shirt that’s open all the way down his chest. He winks at Kihyun, and Kihyun looks away. 

“Yeah, this time you guys have to buy me drinks the whole night,” Changkyun says. 

“Oh, God, we raised a monster,” Minhyuk says. 

“Just this once,” Changkyun says with a pout. 

“I’ll buy you your first drink. After that we take turns,” Jooheon says. 

“Why you?” Changkyun asks. 

“Because he’s the other baby,” Hoseok says before leaning down and poking at Jooheon’s dimple. Jooheon giggles and grabs Hoseok’s hand and pulls it away from his face. Kihyun doesn’t miss how Jooheon doesn’t let go of it though. 

“Ah, I thought I got to pick who would be saddled with my first night out bill,” Changkyun says. 

“All of us are saddled with it,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun opens his mouth to respond, but Hyunwoo stands up. 

“Car’s here. Come on everyone. Make sure you have your wallets, phones, and keys,” Hyunwoo says as he starts herding all of them toward the front door. 

They’re a mess as they get into the back of this van, all squishing together as they try to make room for all of their long limbs as they find their seats. Kihyun is grateful at least that he manages to grab one of the seats in the front, so he can stretch his legs. Hyunwoo gets in the passenger seat and greets their driver before they take off. 

They’re at least quiet on the ride there. Kihyun watches as the dark ocean flies past them, the moon shining not far above the horizon. The night is still young. Kihyun doesn’t know if the night will be long or not, but then he remembers waking up in bed with Changkyun and being kissed again. 

He certainly hopes the night won’t be too long. 

When they pull up to the strip of clubs in town, there are already people walking around with drinks in their hands. They hop out of the van and head towards the closest one, flashing their IDs at the bouncer and getting wristbands put on them one by one as they file in. 

The club isn’t the classiest place Kihyun has ever been, but it feels familiar. They’ve been coming here for years now, and they know the drinks are good and cheap, and the dance floor is never too crowded or too empty. 

“So this is the club I’ve been waiting literal years to go to?” Changkyun asks. 

“Does it live up to expectations?” Kihyun asks. 

A few guys walk by, and Kihyun watches as they look Changkyun up and down as they walk past. Changkyun smiles at them before turning to Kihyun. 

“It’s starting to,” he says. 

Kihyun scoffs and nudges him with his elbow. “Go get Jooheon so he can get you your first drink.”

“What do you recommend?” 

“The soju cocktails here are good.”

“Thanks.” Changkyun goes and grabs Jooheon’s hand before tugging him toward the closest bar to wait for the bartender to finish making some other drink. Kihyun sighs and glances around to find that Hyunwoo has already staked out one of the big booths in the corner for them, and he heads over to it to keep him company. 

“Is someone else getting you a drink?” Hyunwoo asks.

“I’ll just grab one later,” Kihyun says. 

“Got it.”

Kihyun clears his throat and glances around to make sure no one else is around. 

“So how are things?” Kihyun asks. 

“Things?”

“You know. With Jooheon.” 

Hyunwoo grins and shrugs a bit. “I think they’re going pretty well.”

“Does that mean that something has happened?” Kihyun asks. 

“You know, you are just like Minhyuk and Hyungwon with the gossip,” Hyunwoo says. He’s still smiling though. Easy. Relaxed. 

Kihyun laughs. “Maybe a bit.”

“Well, we’ll just have to see where it goes. But things are feeling pretty good for now,” Hyunwoo says. 

“I’m glad.” Kihyun nods, awkward. He wonders if he should tell him. 

_ Speaking of developments, me and Changkyun have decided to become fuck buddies. Fun, huh? _

But Changkyun’s words about nothing changing come back to him. About how no one needed to know. And if Changkyun hasn’t told Jooheon, then he’d never forgive Kihyun for telling Hyunwoo. 

It doesn’t matter, anyway. It shouldn’t at least. 

This was just supposed to be something fun, not something serious like what Hyunwoo is going for. 

“I got you a vodka soda, and I saw that you didn’t order anything, so I got you one of those soju cocktails you like,” Hoseok says as he puts three drinks down on the table. Kihyun grins as he pulls his soju cocktail closer to him.

“Thank you,” Kihyun says. 

“No problem,” Hoseok says as he slides into the booth next to Hyunwoo. He sips on a pink drink, and Kihyun stares at it as it swirls around. 

“What is that?” Kihyun asks. 

“Oh, um. It’s called a sex on the beach,” Hoseok says. He smiles small and looks down as Kihyun snorts.

“Well, it’s not entirely inaccurate, I guess,” Hyunwoo says. 

“I saw it on a TV show, and I didn’t think it was real, but then I looked it up, and I wanted to try it. It’s pretty good! Fruity. Much better than regular sex on the beach. 

Kihyun laughs at the slow blink Hyunwoo does at that. 

“Oh? Not a fan of sex on the beach, Hoseok?” Kihyun asks. 

Hoseok’s ears are so red they look like little cherry tomatoes stuck to his head. “Well! You know! The sand gets everywhere!”

“That it does,” Hyunwoo says softly before he drinks down half of his vodka soda. Kihyun can’t stop laughing, and that only makes Hoseok get redder. 

“Look, don’t act like you’ve never had sex on the beach! I remember last year when you brought a guy back, and Hyunwoo literally had to wake you up the next day on the beach,” Hoseok says. 

“Yeah, but I used a beach towel. I minimized the sand getting everywhere,” Kihyun says.

Hoseok flounders for a moment before he just goes back to sipping his drink. 

It doesn’t take long before the rest of their little group is back at their table, and everyone is trying to get through their first drinks as quickly as possible. 

Kihyun finishes his first and sighs. “Alright, who wants shots?” 

Six hands go up in the air, and Kihyun laughs as he gets up. 

“Coming right up,” he says. 

“I’ll go with you. Seven shots have to be too much for your little hands,” Changkyun says as he gets up. 

“Your hands are not much bigger,” Kihyun quips back. Changkyun just smiles, and they walk together to the bar again. 

“Maybe don’t drink too much?” Changkyun says as Kihyun waves down the bartender. 

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Kihyun says. As if he would even deal with the possibility of not remembering tonight. 

“Shots?” Changkyun asks. 

“Just this one. I kinda feel bad. I should have volunteered to drive,” Kihyun says. 

“No way we could fit in your tiny car.”

Kihyun laughs but calms himself down into a smile when the bartender finally walks over. He orders seven shots of tequila and tries to ignore how Changkyun presses up against his side as he waits. 

“Hell, I don’t even know how you used to hook up in the backseat of that thing,” Changkyun says, voice quieter than before. 

Kihyun licks his lips, looking at Changkyun sideways before focusing back on how the bartender is filling the shot glasses, all lined up in a row. 

“I found a way,” Kihyun says. 

“Oh, I bet. I just don’t understand how.”

Kihyun shrugs. “Find bendy partners and you can fuck almost anywhere.”

That seems to catch Changkyun off-guard. 

“Bendy?”

Kihyun turns to look at him. The bartender puts limes on each of the shot glasses. 

“Use your imagination,” Kihyun says. He winks before he grabs four of the shots and heads back to the table. 

“Ugh, tequila?” Jooheon complains immediately. 

“Tequila is good, you just need to get used to it,” Hyungwon says as he eagerly pulls one of the glasses toward him. 

“I’m surprised you can even handle a shot,” Jooheon says. 

“Ah, there’s the rest of them,” Minhyuk says, grabbing a shot from Changkyun as he walks up.

“Sorry. I was trying to juggle three of these,” Changkyun says. 

The shots are given out, and Kihyun licks his hand before shaking some salt onto it and grabbing the lime from his shot. 

“I’ve never had a tequila shot before,” Changkyun says. 

“It’s simple. Salt, shot, lime,” Minhyuk says. 

“Salt, shot, lime,” Changkyun repeats softly. 

“Just don’t puke,” Hyungwon says. 

Changkyun scoffs as he puts salt on the back of his hand. “I never puke.”

“I hope not,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Come on, the drinks are getting warm, and I am not about to shoot warm tequila,” Jooheon says. 

“Alright, alright, I’m ready,” Changkyun says. 

They all take a deep breath before holding their shot glasses up. 

“To Changkyun’s first real night out,” Hyunwoo says. 

Changkyun grins and looks over at Kihyun. Kihyun smiles back before he licks the salt off his hand and takes his shot. 

It’s awful for the moment before he swallows and bites down on the lime, but it’s worth it to see Changkyun’s entire face scrunch up when the alcohol goes into his mouth. 

“The lime, kid, the lime!” Minhyuk says as he laughs. He pushes Changkyun’s lime up to his mouth, and Changkyun frowns as he takes it and sucks on it. 

“See? Awful,” Jooheon says, sticking out his tongue for emphasis.

“Oh, God, what the fuck,” Changkyun says before sucking on the lime again. 

“You’re so dramatic,” Kihyun says. He reaches over and rubs up and down Changkyun’s back though, hoping to comfort him a bit. 

Changkyun sticks his tongue out and closes an eye. “Why can I still taste it? Why do people do this? How are the rest of you not suffering?”

“You get used to it,” Hoseok says.

“Here, just have another lime,” Hyunwoo says. He holds out his untouched slice of lime, and Changkyun stares at him in disbelief before he takes it.

“Yeah, Hyunwoo can take it straight,” Hoseok says.

“It’s about the only thing he does,” Minhyuk says. 

Changkyun giggles and sucks on the lime again. 

“Can we dance yet?” he asks. 

“Good idea,” Hyungwon says before he pushes on Minhyuk to get out of the booth. Minhyuk rolls his eyes before he takes Hyungwon’s hand and pulls him after him towards the dancefloor. 

“Let’s go,” Changkyun says, tapping on Kihyun’s arm.

“Me?” 

“You got out of dancing for a while last night, so you’re dancing today,” Changkyun says. He bites his lip before tugging on Kihyun’s sleeve. “Now, come on.”

Kihyun sighs, but he smiles as Changkyun pulls him out of the booth and up onto his feet. They walk to the dance floor, just a big square of laminate wood in a sea of dingy tile, and Changkyun starts bobbing his head along to the beat. Kihyun doesn’t know the song, but he doesn’t think Changkyun does either. 

“It’s so loud,” Changkyun half-yells at Kihyun. 

“It is,” Kihyun yells back. He grabs Changkyun’s hands and twists a bit, and Changkyun laughs as he copies his movements. 

And maybe it wasn’t the type of night Changkyun had always imagined. Changkyun had talked about drinking until he couldn’t see straight. Until one of them had to hold him up the whole way home. Dancing until his feet got all blistered, and he ended up passed out on the couch half naked. 

Instead, he’s maybe mildly tipsy off one cocktail and a shot of tequila and doing this bad impression of the twist with Kihyun.

But he’s laughing. And Kihyun can’t keep his eyes off of him because of it.

“Shh, be quiet,” Changkyun whispers before he kisses Kihyun. 

Kihyun giggles and pulls away, his head hitting against the bathroom stall. “Changkyun, we are not about to do this in the men’s bathroom at the club,” he whispers.

“Why not? This was definitely on my bucket list,” Changkyun says. 

“Making out in a cramped bathroom stall?”

“Actually it was sucking dick in a cramped bathroom stall, but you know, making out works.”

Kihyun’s eyes go wide. “Is this what you’re into?”

Changkyun shrugs. His eyes are bright and clear, and his smile is more intoxicating than any tequila that Kihyun has ever had. 

“Maybe. Maybe with you.”

Kihyun licks his lips. “They’re going to wonder what’s taking us so long.”

“Damn, I hate it when you’re right.” Changkyun giggles a bit before he leans in and kisses him again. Kihyun closes his eyes and holds onto Changkyun’s hips. He squeezes them and rubs his thumbs against the smooth leather of his pants. It almost makes him forget where they are. 

But Changkyun pulls away soon enough, smile still on his lips. 

“At least it’s late enough. We can go back soon. Pretend we’re really tired and go to bed,” Changkyun says.

Nothing has ever sounded better. 

Even if it means that he has to let go of Changkyun’s hips right then. 

They walk out of the bathroom stall and go over to the sink to wash their hands together, huddled over the only sink in the room. Kihyun catches glimpses of Changkyun in the mirror, and he tries not to stare. 

There was a phase a long time ago when Changkyun couldn’t have been older than seven, when Changkyun had decided that mirrors were terrifying. He refused to look in them and would cry if any of them did because he was convinced that they would get sucked into them. 

Kihyun finds it funny that Changkyun still doesn’t really look in mirrors as much as most people. Just a quick glance to check himself before he’s gone. Maybe that old childhood fear had stuck with him somehow. 

Changkyun doesn’t even look up at the mirror for one last glance before he’s walking away to stick his hands under the dryer. 

“You know, I half expected there to only be a roll of paper towels,” Changkyun says. 

“It’s not that shitty of a club,” Kihyun says as he walks up to dry his hands next to him. 

“Well, I wouldn’t know. It’s the first one I’ve been to.”

Kihyun laughs a bit and pats Changkyun’s arm as he walks past him to the door. “I’m sure there’ll be plenty of other clubs for you. Shittier ones and classier ones.”

Changkyun laughs. “Maybe. We’ll see.”

The dance floor is more crowded now, but they find their friends quickly enough. Jooheon has an arm around Hyungwon’s shoulders as he sings along to the song, and Minhyuk is giggling as he records the both of them. 

“Where are the two old men?” Changkyun asks over the pounding beat. 

“I think they’re getting waters,” Minhyuk says. 

Kihyun glances around to see Hyunwoo and Hoseok taking up a bunch of space at the bar as they tip the bartenders for their free waters. 

“They starting to call it a night?” Kihyun asks. 

Minhyuk sends him a crooked smile before shoving his phone in his pocket. He puts an arm around Kihyun’s shoulder and pulls him closer. Kihyun tilts his head a bit so Minhyuk can talk into his ear. 

“I think they’re worried about the baby,” Minhyuk says. 

“Changkyun?” Kihyun asks.

“No, not that baby,” Minhyuk says, tilting his head back toward their other friends. Kihyun glances up to see that Jooheon is now slumped on Changkyun’s shoulder, eyes closed as he moves his mouth along to the lyrics. 

“Ah, I see,” Kihyun says. 

“Jooheon, we got you water!” Hoseok says.

Jooheon opens his eyes slowly and smiles, moving his arms from around Changkyun to reach over towards him. Hoseok catches him as he stumbles a bit, putting a sturdy arm around his waist before helping him drink from his cup. 

“I think we’re going to head out. Are you guys going to stay or should I order a big car?” Hyunwoo asks.

“I’m getting tired,” Hyungwon says with a little pout.

“Me too, honestly,” Changkyun says.

“Big car it is,” Minhyuk says.

“Got it,” Hyunwoo says. He pulls his phone out and starts ordering their car. Jooheon leans his head against Hoseok’s shoulder and closes his eyes again. Hyungwon walks over and puts his arms around Minhyuk. And Kihyun wishes he didn’t glance over at Changkyun and hope. 

But he does. 

Changkyun looks back at him and smiles small before walking over to Jooheon and patting his back. 

_ Later, I guess, _ Kihyun thinks. 

Kihyun spits out the toothpaste and rinses out his mouth before sighing. 

“You done yet? I wanna wash my face,” Changkyun says.

“Yeah,” Kihyun says before he wipes his mouth. He steps away from the sink and catches Changkyun’s eyes for a moment before he’s looking away and stepping up to the sink. Kihyun can’t help but laugh a bit. 

“Are we really going to be able to do this if you can’t even look at me?” Kihyun asks. 

Changkyun grins and very pointedly looks at him before he splashes water on his face. 

“It’s awkward. You just brushed your teeth. I’m trying to wash my face.”

“And?”

“It feels...domestic. Way too domestic for a hookup.”

Kihyun licks his lips. “Well, I can’t act like some dude you just met at the club. I mean, I saw you when you used to wear diapers.”

Changkyun scoffs and scrubs at his face. Kihyun winces at how harsh he is with himself. 

“God, don’t be so rough,” Kihyun says, tugging at his elbow a bit. Changkyun stops and looks at him for a moment. They both stare at each other for a moment, and Kihyun feels way too much at once about Changkyun and how he looks with his face covered in suds and his big brown eyes all wide as they look back at him. 

Kihyun clears his throat and looks away. 

“You’re right. Way too domestic,” he says. 

Changkyun hums and turns back to the sink to rinse off his face, and Kihyun takes the chance to hurry out of the bathroom. 

_ What the hell is wrong with you? It’s just sex. You’ve done this so many times. It doesn’t change anything just because it’s Changkyun.  _

Kihyun takes a deep breath and sits down on the bed. He pulls his socks off and throws them in the corner of the room before he lays back. Changkyun walks in soon after, fresh-faced and already a bit flushed. 

“No rock, paper, scissors, huh?” Changkyun says as he closes the door behind him. 

Kihyun looks up at him and shakes his head. 

“Nope. Come here.”

Changkyun smiles and crawls onto the bed, crawls over Kihyun’s body and hovers over him, looking down at him. Kihyun reaches up and touches his sides, squeezes them for a moment before his hands travel up to hold his face. He pulls him down, and Changkyun closes his eyes. 

It isn’t the first kiss, of course, but it still feels like the breaking of tension. Like this is what they were waiting for this whole time. 

Kissing is a thing Kihyun always enjoyed. He likes figuring his partner out. He likes taking it slow and trying different things, seeing what gets a rise out of the person he’s kissing. 

Changkyun lays against him and kisses him, open-mouthed and moaning. Kihyun wraps an arm around him and flips them over, getting on top of him. Changkyun smiles against him and spreads his legs, and Kihyun slots himself between them as he traces the curve of Changkyun’s lips with his. 

“Fuck, you are such a good kisser,” Changkyun whispers before he nips at Kihyun’s bottom lip. Kihyun hums and kisses him harder, and Changkyun’s mouth falls open enough for Kihyun to lick into it.

A few more minutes of kissing, and Changkyun’s hands travel down to the waistband of Kihyun’s boxers. Tugs then snaps. Tugs again and slips his thumbs under it. Kihyun pulls away and looks down at him. 

“Can I take them off?” Changkyun asks softly. 

“Yeah, Changkyun. Go ahead,” Kihyun asks. 

Changkyun smiles and pecks his lips before he pushes Kihyun’s boxers down. Kihyun holds himself up, and he doesn’t know why he’s waiting for a reaction. It’s not like Changkyun has never seen him naked before. 

He still appreciates the way Changkyun stares though. And the way his hands runs over him like he can’t believe it. 

“I like...I like giving head,” Changkyun says softly. 

“Is that what you want to do?” Kihyun asks. 

Changkyun nods, squeezes the base of Kihyun’s cock. 

“Yeah. That’s what I want to do.” 

Kihyun nods and kisses him. 

“We can do that, then.”

Changkyun smiles at him before he pushes him onto his back again. He reaches over to the nightstand and pulls out a condom, and Kihyun sinks down into the mattress. 

He can’t stop to think about it. If he stops and thinks about it, he might start feeling way too much again. 

Instead he focuses on what’s in front of him. On the way Changkyun kicks his own boxers off and tears the condom packet with his teeth like he learned it from watching movies. Focuses on the way Changkyun straddles his legs and adds a drop of lube to the head of Kihyun’s dick. On how the lube is cold and makes him hiss and how Changkyun smiles apologetically before he rolls the condom on Kihyun as easy as anything. 

Kihyun blinks, and Changkyun is between his thighs, and the air conditioning is running, but that’s not what’s giving Kihyun goosebumps down his arms. 

He looks down at Changkyun and moans when Changkyun takes him into his mouth. 

“Shit,” Kihyun whispers out.

Changkyun looks up at him and smiles.

“Hush, just let me,” he says before he sucks on him again. 

Kihyun closes his eyes, and he doesn’t think at all. 

Changkyun is good with his mouth. He had said that he liked it, and Kihyun can tell. Changkyun closes his eyes and feels with his mouth and lips. His tongue traces shapes that Kihyun’s can’t make out against him, and everything is warm and wet and  _ good _ . Better than Kihyun has had in a long time. 

Kihyun tangles his fingers in Changkyun’s hair and looks down at him. Changkyun stares back, brown eyes all big, lips wrapped around him, and Kihyun’s heart kicks in his chest. 

“Wow, were you always this cute?” Kihyun says without thinking about it. 

Changkyun’s nose scrunches a bit like he’s laughing, and he pulls away to smile. 

“Oh, you’re just now noticing?”

“Apparently.”

Changkyun laughs again and kisses at Kihyun’s stomach.

“I’ve always been this cute, thanks,” Changkyun says. 

“Whatever you say. Now come here,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun grins and kisses his stomach again before he moves up and lays down next to Kihyun again. Kihyun gets on top of him to kiss him again for a bit before he reaches for the nightstand to grab another condom. 

“What are you doing?” Changkyun asks. 

“You don’t want me to reciprocate?”

“While I appreciate the sentiment, I kinda just want you already.”

Kihyun looks down at him. 

“Want me how?”

Changkyun shifts a bit, spreads his legs more. Raises his brow.

He always had been a master at communicating without any words at all. 

Kihyun drops the condom and grabs the bottle of lube instead. 

“Is this the position you want?” Kihyun asks. 

Changkyun nods and reaches up to move the pillows around. While Kihyun pours lube on his fingers, Changkyun puts a pillow under his back.

Kihyun stares down at him. The abs, the defined chest. The tiny freckles on his body. The tan glow of his skin. Then up at his face. At his wet lips and hooded eyes. 

Changkyun is precious. He should be treated carefully. 

And Kihyun does. 

“Tell me if I need to change what I’m doing,” Kihyun says.

“Alright.”

Changkyun takes a deep breath, and Kihyun watches his chest rise with it, and when it falls he presses a finger into him. 

Changkyun closes his eyes and bites his lip, and Kihyun wonders if he’s ever been this attracted to someone. If any of the people he’s slept with in the past made him feel such an overwhelming  _ something _ before. But then he realizes he’s thinking too much, and he shuts it down. 

“Feel good?” Kihyun asks. 

“Yeah. You can use two fingers if you want,” Changkyun says. 

Kihyun nods. Adds more lube and a second finger, and he can tell this is closer to what Changkyun wants from the sigh he lets out. He fingers him for a bit, just trying to get him used to the stretch, before he curls his fingers, searching.

“Oh, fuck, Ki,” Changkyun hisses out. 

Kihyun smiles. “Here?”

“Yeah, right there,” Changkyun says. His deep voice is deeper when it’s whispered out. Breathy. But then Kihyun keeps pressing his fingers on that spot, and his voice starts getting higher. Whinier. 

“Fuck, Ki, just fuck me already,” Changkyun whines. 

“Hold on,” Kihyun says. He pulls his fingers out and grabs the lube again, pours some over himself before pouring more onto Changkyun. 

Another deep breath. Kihyun lines himself up. The air conditioning blows against his back, and he shivers before he starts pressing his cock inside of Changkyun slowly. 

“Oh my God,” Changkyun whispers out. 

Kihyun looks up at him, and their eyes lock as Kihyun keeps sliding inside of him. Changkyun’s mouth falls open and his face is flushed, but he doesn’t look away. 

It feels intimate. It feels like so many words and thoughts. It feels like a whole conversation that Kihyun can’t understand. Can’t think about understanding. 

All he can think about is how tight and warm Changkyun feels around him. 

“Fuck, you feel so--”

“Good?” Changkyun asks, and then he smiles a bit. Still open mouthed. Still a bit breathless.

“Yeah. So good,” Kihyun says. He leans down and kisses Changkyun again before he starts moving his hips, and Changkyun moans into his mouth, his hands moving to grab at his hair and his hips. 

It feels so good it steals the breath away from Kihyun. He closes his eyes and drowns in the motion of their hips moving and Changkyun’s wet lips against him. 

Changkyun is messy when he’s being fucked. He licks his lips before pressing kisses to the corner of Kihyun’s mouth, buries moans against his jaw as he digs his nails into Kihyun’s hip, and when he catches his breath, he goes back to kissing him again, mouth always open, tongue always pressing back into Kihyun’s mouth. 

Kihyun moans and braces himself on his elbow before he reaches between them to take Changkyun into his hand, making him moan even louder. It’s too good. Already too good, and Kihyun feels like a spring that’s already too tightly wound. 

“Changkyun,” Kihyun huffs out, and Changkyun nods even though Kihyun doesn’t know what he’s answering yes to. Changkyun’s hand finds the back of Kihyun’s head, and his fingers pull on his hair before he’s tugging him closer, their lips locking together. 

Kihyun comes like the tide crashing on the shore. Like it rolls back before pushing all the way forward in a burst of energy. Kihyun is blind and drowning, and the only breath and light he can find is trapped behind Changkyun’s lips. 

“Shit, Ki, stop,” Changkyun hisses out, and Kihyun opens his eyes. He had stopped moving, but he hadn’t stopped stroking Changkyun, and he hadn’t noticed that Changkyun had come. He lets go of Changkyun and tries to catch his breath. Stares down at the mess on Changkyun’s stomach and his very pink cock. 

And then one very loud thought enters his head and won’t leave. 

_ Friends don’t kiss like that, and friends definitely shouldn’t fuck like that.  _

“Fuck,” Changkyun huffs out as his head falls back onto the mattress. 

“I’ll clean you up, just give me a second,” Kihyun says. 

“That’s fine,” Changkyun says. 

Kihyun licks his lips and looks at Changkyun again. His bangs are stuck to his forehead some from sweating, and his lips are swollen from all the kissing, and he’s still catching his breath, and Kihyun just wants to kiss him again. 

“That was...it was good,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun nods. “It was.”

Kihyun nods, and they look at each other for a moment before they both start giggling. Kihyun pushes Changkyun’s hair back and kisses his cheek before he pushes himself up. He takes the condom off and ties it off before throwing it away in the garbage can in the room. His legs feel a bit wobbly as he hurries to the door and across the hall to the bathroom to grab a towel. Changkyun is still giggling at him when he gets back and sits down next to him. 

“Having problems walking?” Changkyun asks. 

“I’d like to see you try to walk right now,” Kihyun says. He wipes Changkyun clean and tries not to pay attention to how Changkyun is staring at the side of his face.

“So...it was good,” Changkyun says. 

Kihyun looks at him. “Yes?”

Changkyun licks his lips. “So the rest of this trip? No rock, paper, scissors?”

Kihyun stares at him. 

_ Friends shouldn’t fuck like that. Friends don’t fuck like that.  _

“Yeah. I’m okay with that.”

“Okay. Cool. And we’re acting like nothing happened, right?”

_ Friends don’t kiss like that, Changkyun.  _

“Right.”

Changkyun nods and yawns, stretching his whole body out like a cat. 

“I’m tired as fuck now. Can you hand me my boxers?”

“Yeah, hold on,” Kihyun says. He gets up and finds where Changkyun had tossed his boxers to. He tosses them back at him before finding his own to put back on. 

“Ki?”

“Yeah?”

“I guess, thanks? I don't know what you say in this situation,” Changkyun says. 

Kihyun snorts. “I don't know either.”

“Yeah, well. Ten out of ten. Would fuck again.”

Kihyun laughs, but it's starting to feel hollow. Maybe it's just late. But when he gets back in bed and looks back over at Changkyun, he knows it's not how late it is. 

_ Friends don’t  _ want  _ to kiss like that, Kihyun. And you really want to kiss him like that.  _

“Can we still cuddle or is it weird now?” Changkyun asks. 

Kihyun smiles. “Why would it be weird? We’re still us. Right?”

Changkyun smiles back and comes close to him, pressing against his side and laying his head on his chest. Kihyun wraps his arm around him. 

“Good night, Ki,” Changkyun says. 

“Good night, Changkyun.”

Kihyun reaches over and turns off the lamp, and the room goes dark. It’s late, and Changkyun is warm, and he’s tired from spending himself. 

But all Kihyun can do is stare at the ceiling and think.    
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!!


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